Vibrant, Energetic, Sporty. And ‘Class’

“The movie and its lead characters emanate vibrancy, energy and sportiness; exactly the qualities represented by our XC90 R-Design. Hence the ideal integration of our brand and the movie,” said Paul De Vojis, managing director, Volvo Auto India, in a press release explaining the presence of the SUV in the movie ‘3 Idiots’.

‘Vibrancy’, ‘energy’ and ‘sportiness’ – exactly the qualities of the lead actor of ‘3 Idiots’, Aamir Khan. (The very same qualities used by Parle brand of biscuits endorsed by the same actor; playing a prank on the coach and free running dispersing free cheeky advice on eating healthy.) So, when it came to zeroing in on the synergies between the product placed (the R-Design) and the lead actor (Aamir), the company is bang on. But there is a catch: through the entire duration of the movie (two hours and fifty minutes) in not one scene is it shown Aamir in the car. In fact, the only scene where the star and car are in the same frame is the last one. Those who have seen the movie will remember that here too the actor was shown running away from it (yeah, the owner of the car – a guy a little short of the ‘vibrant, sporty and energetic’ qualities).

Of course, we all know the reason as to why Aamir maintained this safe distance from Volvo; he was till recently endorsing for rivals, Toyota. Whether he still does it remains not known. But what is known is that his endorsing the Innova hasn’t done much for the vehicle. Probably the company could rope him for the recently launched Fortuner (But be careful when they make him say ‘Fulltime 4 wheel drive’. He he he.) If this weren’t the case, Aamir would have made the best fit brand ambassador for the Swedish car-maker. No two thoughts here. And they could have added one more to the ‘Vibrancy, energy, sportiness’ DNA: ‘Class’ as well.

The press release mentioned also smacks of Paul’s worry along the precise same lines. Hence, as an after thought he has added that the film is ‘about the journey two friends undertake in their search for a third compatriot (sic!), played by Aamir Khan (saving grace). The backdrop of the movie is along the length and breadth of India, covering the beauty of the mountainous region of Ladakh….. (blah blah).” Almost reminded me of Che’s ‘Motorcycle Diaries’ and the ok-ok movie adaptation. The best landscape shot is the unending expanse of the clear blue sky against the snow-capped mountains as the car approaches Ladakh. Then, for anyone who visits any biker group website (I am with one and ride alone as well) and checks out their uploaded album, you will find that this particular shot is staple.

In terms of exposure in a Bollywood film (which Paul has rightly called a ‘cult’) it is win-win for Volvo: the vehicle does occupy lots of screen space and movie time. The director has also done a good job in showing the vehicle the way it should be – all muddied and slushed up, communicating vividly that it is an out-and-out rough-out vehicle. Now, if only the company would cease trying a piggy back on the star’s (already used) USPs.

Now for another statement in the same release: “Artistic integrity is crucial for successful brand placements and the utility of the product has to be woven properly into the script..” I have no idea what this one even tries to mean.

In a marked deviation from my earlier blogs where I tried to figure out the best-fit cars for the movies, here I will turn it around – and figure out a best fit movie for the R-Design. This is also because the car has been positioned articulately enough (vibrancy…etc) and the release sounds like the company scouted around for a movie to make a big screen debut. How better could they have done had they looked around better?

Not a single release from last year could have pulled it off. With the handicap of not knowing the content but merely the star power of those coming up this year, ‘Kites’ is close. As would a John Abraham starrer; quite a handful here – Aashayein, 1800-Love…

Hummer bhajan

Ever since he got the money to join the Mumbai Indians for the IPL, Harbhajan has been singing praise to the legendary off roader, Hummer. But, his fetish goes a little longer than the cool three crore rupees he pocketed at the auction. Reports say that he rode in one when he was in Australia prior to the IPL season when India won the CB Tri Series. This was when he actually fell in love with this King Kong of cars...yeah, it can scale neat angles too. And recently, he has actually managed to procure one; which drove into the news for the wrong reasons, again. He was challaned by the Punjab Police for driving without proper registration.

Quite a colouful figure, Harbhajan is not new to controversies. The 'Turbanator' as he is called, created the biggest furore when he took off is turban for a advert for the liquor major, Royal Stag. But by then, the off-spinner was quite used to being in a spot, under the spotlight; his debut into international cricket itself was beset with investigations into the legality of his bowling action. The 'Sreesanth slapgate' would have been a minor irk like swatting a persistent fly...

While Reel Wheel dissects the choice of cars of movie stars, at times we do take the off-road, side road and the road less travelled to talk about the choices of other people also. They don't necessarily have to be making a widespread impression with their decisions. The idea is to develop a healthy discussion / debate as to what kind of cars suit best any personality trait or character. This could even help you decide better while choosing your own set of wheels.

The world over, if you care to take a glimpse of those who drive the Hummer, you can see they are far removed from what Bhajji really is. Take the most famous among them, Arnold Schwarzenegger. Do I have to tell you anything about Arnie? Now, THAT would be a sight: a Hummer comes to a stop and Hulk comes striding out. Ok, we can't always expect a seven times Mr Olympia winner to emerge out of a Hummer. But at least a strapping six-footer? If not biceps that suffocate the tee shirt, some muscle? Some attitude and not a scowl? At least some serious fashion sense?

When it comes to 'real world' purchase as opposed to characters on cinema, we have to factor in more than mere personality traits when it comes to car purchases (esp. when we are talking about a 'close-to-a-crore' buy!). Now, what would Harbhajan have wanted in a vehicle that made him buy a Hummer? He will need space to carry around his training gear, of course. And say space to ferry a few team mates from the training or the match ground to the nearest watering hole or shopping mall depending on whether they won or lost or lost or won. Factor in the roads. If we stopped here, you might suggest a Bolero or a Scorpio, a Safari or a Xylo. But throw in an attitude for good measure. And don't forget the serious money we have to burn.

While the Toyota Land Cruiser or the Prado could have been in contention, they don't have the snob value. These are refined statements - no need to be flashy as we are not the nouveau riche. 'An unorthodox bowler' with an 'aggressive attitude' could be the only claim to a 'Hummer personality'. But take a close look at Bhajji and you are tempted to think 'soft spoken, mild mannered, gentle, warm, big-hearted, open minded, generous... ' So even the Hilux won't be the choice, nor the FJ Cruiser as they reek some major 'don't damn' attitude. And the other practical considerations make us zero in on the Sequoia.

Here is a spacious monster that stands out from the crowd due to its sheer physicality of presence, a powerful demeanour and makes a quiet impression. Very much like Bhajji's looks the Sequoia doesn't shouts 'Hey, Look AT Me'. But once it gets to do the talking, then you are rapt attention, held in enthrall and there are no two ways, but to be taken seriously. If the Hummer hollers 'Don't mess with me, keep away' from a mile away, the Sequoia says 'Come near me at your own peril'. It is like a powerful force from within, it intimidates you into leaving it alone.

What you got to say for yourself, about yourself, without saying it is a call you only have to make.

A Galloping Edge With a Mustang

Yes, we know the Americans as a culture like it big - big cars (or 'trucks' as they call it), big pads (very subtly called a 'crib'), big, baggy trousers (check out those rappers and those NBA stars when they are not on stage / court), big chunks of jewellry (again the rappers and NBA stars) and of course, the Big Mac. And for that matter, anybody who imported themselves into America too - they too, before long, develop this 'huge crush'. Surely we all know the (Austrian) Arnold Schwarzenegger's collection of over a dozen Hummers! Well, it must be something in the air, then.

From the governor to the window cleaner, unless you drive around in one of the 'trucks', then it seems like your citizenship will be revoked. From the presidential cavalcade to the convoy with the hearse, the black truck is ubiquitous. The window cleaner here is John Abraham in Yash Raj Films' new one directed by Kabir Khan, 'New York'. The movie is about how an innocent Mussalman who is taken to task by the FBI switches to full-fledged terrorism to redeem his 'izzat'. Katrina Kaif finally puts her 'twangy' Hindi to good use here. She is the wife who always knew about John's terrorist tendencies but just stood back hoping he would 'come back' some day. No, don't ask whether it was regardless the 'homecoming' would be in a big, black box. These minor flaws in storytelling aside, let's talk cars. Hey, but honestly, the movie isn't bad. Besides we also get a refreshing change from the entire 65 member cast standing and grinning at an inane Johnny Lever joke or the hero walks away as the bad guy writhes in pain / in flames. Here, the lovey-couple dies. Yeah, dies. Really!!

John drives around his black truck, probably an affirmation of his Americanisation. However, while in college, he was the same guy who was into muscle sports. He was the show-off, wanted to be and probably was, the centre of attention / attraction, an all-American-male. Now, as I said, the movie IS different from many being churned out these days. There is a commendable effort at making you think, look around and try and be concerned at what is going on, figuring out who is responsible, et al. Somewhere it lacks the cut, the edge. The characters are all well-defined, flushed out. Nelly boy does have his sparks of adorability. Irrfan Khan holds a bee-stung face making acting a non-necessity. Then, FBI agents don't really emote, do they? Nor can we, the audience wish for some chemistry between John and Katrina either.

But surely what we can hope for was a better choice of wheels which would have added a whole new dimension to the whole film. Instead of the omnipresent black truck, John should have been given the symbol of American muscle, the Mustang. This legendary car from the Ford stables is as much an extension of the virile American as the Bullet bike is for the Punjabi phallus. Imagine John driving around the Mustang, flashing his 'swell' muscles...

Goes on to show how a carefully set of wheels can really add more 'caracter', give an edge. As an extension of the flushed out persona - outgoing, sporty, strong. And a show-off. What else, but a Mustang!!!

Range Rover - the beast in tux

Only yesterday I remarked casually that 'probably it is time the Tatas introduced their new babies to homecountry India - Land Rover and Jaguar. Reading the newspaper today, I felt like Oracle (the he-version): Lo and behold! Both the 'beauty' AND the 'beast' were coming to India!! About time too. From the Land Rover stables the Range Rover basic model, Range Rover Sport and Rover Discovery. Jaguar models three - the XF, XFR and XKR.

While the Jaguar is just another powerful, super luxury sedan, albeit with a irrefutable lineage, the Range Rover is many things to many people. You don't buy a Rover, in fact you acquire one. It ploughs on quietly with an assured elegance, the lines squeaky clean and straight, with all the surety that comes with the simplicity of inherited wealth and innate charm.

This is not for the diamond-stud-flashing, yo-generation rappers in baggie jeans. While the Lexus is too behemoth to look as benevolent as the Range Rover, its sibling the Land Cruiser is more of a dirt monger - both by taste and reputation. It is kind of difficult to imagine the Range Rover doing a dune bashing. You rarely go into the Amazon wearing a Prada or a Tom Ford!

With the rising global sentiment against the Big Daddy of 'em all - the Hummer - due to it's gas guzzling genes, we can safely assume that the Range Rover will be among the next level of conspicous, indulgent off-roading. Now, that is what a Range Rover is about - it is power, stamina and mammoth terrain resilience, all cloaked in garb of geniality.

Translated into a personality, it pulls off passionate elegance, a handsome style and an easy demeanour. Yes, all of these could be hard to come by early. As it is said, the true owner of a Mercedes Benz is never young. What many termed the 'Raymond rut' turned out to be a myth when Reid & Taylor was endorsed by Amitabh Bachchan. The moral was, however staid and old the product image was, you still have to sell it to the old. The reason being simple: they are the ones who have the money. That is, if we are not talking will paper money or the young, bold entrepreneur who sold his startup for a lifetime of luxury.

Portrayal of a character is different from actually being one. Real life is far removed from the reel. While it would be interesting to see which all movie stars in real life buy a Range Rover, needless to say, this is an ideal vehicle for the now-gen of the happening biz families of India. Cannot rule out our entire film folks from the potential customer list either. A well-groomed, Abhishek Bachchan should be able to pull it off. But not a Salman Khan: for with the Rover, what you see is NOT what you get.